Talking About YOUR Needs in the Bedroom…

Whether you’re in a new relationship or you’ve been with your partner for many years– talking about YOUR needs, especially in the bedroom, can be very, very tricky and that’s not all…

Talking about your needs with him can also be full of emotional hot buttons to navigate around.

Even though you may be old enough to have lived during the “sexual revolution,” you still may feel shy about expressing your
desires.

You may feel like your partner won’t listen or he’ll get very defensive and make your relationship worse.

Shoot, you may not even know what you want or haven’t stopped to think about it.

Here’s our question of the week which is a big issue for many women–and our answer…

Question: “How do I tell him my needs without bruising his feelings especially when I am aware of his limitations?”

Answer:

You are so right that talking about YOUR needs certainly does open up a can of worms that more than likely, as you say, will bruise a man’s ego (especially because of his “limitations”), start a fight and end up in nothing but distance and disconnection.

Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

So do you just suck it up and go with what he wants or thinks you want without saying a word?

Of course not–but there’s a right way and a wrong way to approach a sensitive topic like this with him.

You see, whether he realizes it or not, his ego is tied up with wanting to please you and when he thinks he isn’t, he can feel shame.

Any “suggestion” from you can turn on this shame even if that’s definitely NOT what you want.

This “shame” causes him to pull away from you further and it becomes a vicious cycle that leaves you both wanting more but not knowing how to get there…

Especially if he already knows he has “limitations”!

How do you express your desires without him immediately tapping into this shame?

How do you talk to him without him shutting down?

First of all, start with you and your attitude.

Is it that you’re scared about “the talk” and have put up walls and defenses readying your for an argument?

Instead, become an invitation by focusing on your heart and your love for him.

If you’re an invitation to more love, you’re softer in your approach to him and he won’t feel like he has to defend himself.

He’ll feel that it’s safer for him to listen to you.

When you change the dread inside you to wondering “What if this could happen?” you’ll be more open and loving toward him–which is exactly what you want as you playfully suggest some new ways to passionately connect.

If you want to know more about how to talk to a man AND get your wants, needs and desires met (both in and out of the bedroom)…

WITHOUT bruising his ego and without causing him to withdraw and pull away from you…

We have an entire video session on how to talk with your partner about intimate issues with sex coach and teacher Antoinette Asimus in our Red Hot After 50 program.

Go here to get access to this interview and our Red Hot After 50 Program right now