How to stop worrying about your appearance and start enjoying your sexuality…

Today I’m talking about one of the BIG blocks to sensual pleasure for women(and for men too)…

Have you ever been in the middle of being romantic with your man and those darn thoughts that you don’t look the way you used to and you look downright frumpy, lumpy and old…
Hold you back from letting go and truly enjoying sensual pleasure?

You become embarrassed, self-conscious, and shut down your feminine openness, going through the motions of sex without really connecting to your body or to your partner.

If so, you’re not alone. I’ve certainly been there myself!

Read on for more about this topic and our Question of the Week as well as my answer…

Here’s our question of the week from a reader:

“I’m upset that my body is no longer what it used to be. I want to feel totally free to enjoy making love without worry about scars and signs of aging. How do I stop worrying about my appearance and enjoy my sexuality?”

My answer…

Are you up for a little experiment?

Okay, here’s what you do…

Right now think of something that makes you feel good…

-Your dog running to greet you or your cat purring on your lap

-Having fun with your grandkid or grown up child

-A friend who’s always there for you
-Flowers in your yard

What’s going on in your body?

Do you feel open, happy, expansive?

I thought so.

Now think thoughts that your body looks bad, you’re getting old, and no one, least of all your partner will think you’re attractive.

What’s happening now?

I thought so.

You’re probably stiffening, narrowing, folding in on yourself and closing down.

Tell us…

Are those thoughts in any way going to enhance your sexuality?

Of course not!

But you might say, “It’s all true!”

While you might have some scaring and signs of aging, if that’s what you focus on while making love, you are missing the opportunity for a sacred connection with your partner and you’re missing out on what could be a lot of pleasure and fun!

I invite you to consider that our thoughts determine a lot of what we end up experiencing.

Making conscious choices with your thoughts, doesn’t mean that you pretend you’re the way you looked when you were 25.

For me, I focus on my love for Otto and the pleasure I get being with him while making love.
When those thoughts that my belly might be unattractive, I shift my attention to what’s happening sensually in the moment.
I ask myself–“Where is he touching me (or where am I touching him) and what does that feel like?”

To do this, you have to stay in the present moment and focus on what could be your delicious, sensory experience.

Don’t ruin your happiness by thoughts that may or may not have anything to do with reality, may not be what your partner is thinking at all and may be criticisms that aren’t even yours.

Let loving yourself and your partner win in the thought-department.

That way, you always win.