Have trouble speaking your truth? Read this…

I’ve been in the same book club since 1989 and the book we read for this month was “Everything I Never Told You” by Celeste Ng. Because our discussion triggered something really important for me to share with you, here are a few thoughts…

As the title indicates, one of the themes of the story was that often we don’t reveal who we truly are to those closest to us and the result can be tragic…

If you just tune in to the people you know personally there are far too many people holding back or afraid to say “I love you” until after it’s too late or “No, I’m not doing that anymore” or “I’m taking this step forward in my life.”

You may have instances in your past (or maybe your present) where you wish you could have said or done something differently–something that was more in alignment with who you were at the time or are right now.

And there’s regret.

I talked with a woman the other day who was full of fear and regret.

She was afraid to tell the man she had just started dating that she didn’t want to see him anymore because she didn’t want to hurt him.

As we talked, it was clear that this was a reoccurring pattern in her life of not be able to say what she wanted for fear of hurting a guy–and of course, she ended up hurting him in the end.

As we continue to talk about what she really wanted in her life which was to finish her degree, she saw that being honest was the kindest, most loving thing she could do for herself and for this guy.

How about you?

Is there something that you’re withholding that’s interfering with intimacy and connection?

Is there something you’ve longed to express to someone in a loving way that is truly who you are?

Is there something you want to say “no” to or “yes” to that you’ve been holding back because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings?

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While I’m certainly not in favor of just spilling your guts for the relief of it or especially with the unconscious or conscious intention of hurting someone…

I am in favor of tuning into who you are and speaking from that deep place inside you.

I am in favor of not allowing your negative thoughts about what could happen if you’re honest interfere with intimacy and connection.

I am in favor of keeping the spark alive inside you and with another person by showing up as the true you.

If you’re a woman (especially over 50), I think it’s time for you to live from that place inside you called “I deserve” and “Yes!” more of the time