She’s Almost 60–Has a New Man and Doesn’t Want to Ruin It

Whether you’re currently in a love relationship, dating or want to be…

Have you ever felt like you made mistakes in the past and you want to start over so you have the passionate, connected love you want?

Here’s a woman who is starting over and wants guidance on how not to repeat the mistakes of the past in her new relationship…

(Even if you’re married and absolutely don’t want to leave to find a younger man–but you want more–read on because this can help you create what you want as well!)

Here’s what our reader said…

“I will be sixty next month and I have a new younger man in my life and I do not want to make the same mistakes I did with my last three husbands …. And I feel I would really love to learn how to have a sexually fulfilling life with my new man. Please help!”

Our answer…

Susie says–

Congratulations! I attracted a younger man to me (16 years younger to be exact) after I turned 50 years old and I couldn’t be happier but our beautiful new love could have ended if we didn’t learn from our past marriages about what didn’t work–and practice the actions and mindsets that would keep our connection strong.

I can hear the commitment in your words that you don’t want to make the same mistakes again and that you really want to learn “how to have a sexually fulfilling life.”

Bravo to you!

But let’s get down to helping you not recreate the past and ruin this yummy new relationship.

Here are 3 of our best strategies for not recreating the past and focusing on what you want (and these work whether you’re in a new relationship or re-vitalizing one that’s been dormant for awhile)…

1. Take a microscope to what triggers you and how you react

All of our upsets can usually be boiled down to certain themes and if you write down what bothers you about your partner or previous partners and your reaction, this “theme” will emerge.

And this “theme” is usually how we go about getting our needs met.

For instance, one of your relationship themes could be not feeling respected or appreciated (for whatever reason) and your reaction might be pulling away and shutting down to your partner.

If this is the case, watch when this theme shows up, even in small ways, and pay attention to what you normally want to do to protect yourself.

2. Open to him even when it’s difficult

Once you know how you pull away when you get triggered (and this might look more like fighting rather than withdrawing), commit to calming yourself and choosing a healthier way to react.

There are many techniques that we don’t have time to go into here for doing this that we explain in many of our programs like “Stop Talking on Eggshells”

And the point is that you can change your thoughts and stories that help you to get calmer so you can stop yourself from reacting in ways that can kill your relationship.

Whether you need to make a request or learn to listen without interrupting, there are ways to open, even when you don’t agree or feel like it, that keep the connection between you that you need for lasting love.

3. Be an irresistible invitation to love and sexuality

There are so many ways to get the fires burning between the two of you and keep them that way that we go into in our awesome program just for women over 50 called “Red Hot After 50” and we’ll give you one here…

Keep looking at your man with new and loving eyes, appreciating what he does for you. Even if you’ve been together for many years, one of the secrets for keeping your love alive and vibrant is to not take him for granted and tell him what you love about him.

Tell him what you love that he does to you during love making–and keep telling him because he wants to hear it.

Life is too short to go through it unconscious of your thoughts, words and actions.

Become aware and go for what you want–Love is worth it!