Over 50 and self-conscious about your body? Try this…

This is Susie and in today’s article, I’m going to give you 3 suggestions for making it okay for your passion and sexuality to come out and play no matter how old you are or what you look like.

If you’re like most women over 50 (including me), you’ve probably noticed some changes in your physical body and that can certainly play havoc with your self-confidence!

Maybe you’re saggy in a few places, have a few new wrinkles and maybe a few pounds that you’ve put on in the last few years and can’t seem to get off.

Whatever it is, you’re noticing some changes.

The question becomes…

What do you do when you look down and you don’t feel as physically attractive as you used to be?

The question becomes…

What do you do when you look down and you don’t feel as physically attractive as you used to be?

What do you do when you’re just plain self-conscious about your body when it comes to getting intimate with your guy?

You’re too young (and don’t want) to forget about sex altogether but you hold back even though you know you need to open to keep the juices going.

Here’s what one woman wrote to us and asked…

“I’m self conscious about my body! How do I let go of fears and my trained inhibitions so I can enjoy love making again?”

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Here’s my answer to our reader’s question…

It’s a fact of life–we all are going to age and although some of us age better than others depending on genes, lifestyle, diet, exercise…

There’s no getting around it–we ARE going to age and no amount of Botox will stop it.

But that certainly doesn’t have to mean that we give up being sexual in the process.

In fact, it can be even better after age 50 than it was in your 20’s, 30’s or 40’s because it’s the story you tell yourself about these changes and the choices you make that determine your sexual vitality.

So how do you let go of fears and “trained inhibitions” that can go along with aging as our reader asked?

If you can relate to our reader’s question, here are 3 suggestions to get you moving toward making it okay for your sexuality to come out and play…

1. Stay in the present moment

While it’s very seductive to have the story play over and over in your head that your body’s only going to get worse over the years and no one will want you–blah, blah, blah…

When something like that story arises inside you, bring yourself into the present moment and look at what’s true in the moment and maybe what you can improve so you look and feel better.

It’s very easy to blame a lack of intimacy on your aging body and think there’s nothing you can do.

There’s plenty you can do!

Don’t hide in worrying about the future and blaming your body but do something today that will help you have better self-esteem  and strengthen the connection between the two of you.

2. Take inspired action that feels good to you and rewrite your story

A friend of mine signed up for a course held in our area called “From Couch Potato to 5K” and she asked me to be her walk/run partner.

I tried running again (I used to run in my 30’s and 40’s) but my knees were yelling at me so I walked with her.

After a few weeks, she felt better physically, shaped up in places she wanted, and because of what she was accomplishing, she felt more confident.

What does this have to do with your sexuality?

Everything.

It’s been said that sex for a woman is completely a mind game and when you feel better about yourself, you can relax and enjoy yourself so much more.

The point is to get your mind in the “right” game and rewrite your story to one that feels good.

After a few weeks, my friend felt better physically, shaped up in places she wanted, and because of what she was accomplishing, she felt more confident.

What does this have to do with your sexuality?

Everything.

It’s been said that sex for a woman is completely a mind game and when you feel better about yourself, you can relax and enjoy yourself so much more.

The point is to get your mind in the “right” game and rewrite your story to one that feels good.

Which brings me to…

3. Get those “trained inhibitions” out into the light and make your choice

Trained inhibitions are nothing more than beliefs you’ve created as a result of past experiences or even someone else’s beliefs that have nothing to do with you.

You might have grown up thinking that some sexual experiences are “dirty” or “good girls don’t do them.”

Now’s the time to bring those beliefs into the light, examine them and see if you want to continue to hold onto them.

What are you afraid of?

What is holding you back?

Write out your answers to those questions so you see it in black and white.

Give yourself the gift of choice–and make it a conscious one.

You can tell yourself something like this…

“I’m choosing right now to open to experiencing my sexuality more fully and on my terms–and I’m perfectly safe in doing so.”

Don’t let your fears and old thought patterns keep you from enjoying intimacy at any age but especially after age 50.

The best truly can happen and when you least expect it!